Tearing At My Heart
by brookefan329
Summary: COMPLETE. Oneshot. Haley goes to see Nathan later on the night of the end of summer bonfire at the beach.


"Always and forever Nathan?"

"Haley?" Nathan asked as he turned around, surprised to see her standing there, he didn't expect her to want to talk to him after what happened at the beach. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm fixing this Nathan, just because you want to keep running away from it doesn't mean that I do."

Nathan stood there just looking at her as she stood in his doorway. He had a million things he wanted to say to her, but wasn't sure where to start.

"I remember this line, from this song Nathan, 'Sometimes the easy thing to do is walk away, while the hardest thing to do is stay.' That's how I feel, like it would be so easy for me to just pack my bags and run away from Tree Hill again, run away from you, but I'm not going to do that Nathan, you need to believe me when I say that. I'm going to stay here, for you, for us, no matter how hard you try to push me away, it won't work, so you might as well start talking, start yelling, I don't care Nathan, just do something."

Haley held her breathe as she waited for him to react.

"What did you think Haley? That you would just show up on my doorstep and I would just welcome you back with open arms? Seriously Haley, tell me what you thought would happen, I want to know."

"I knew it would be hard Nathan, really I did, but I didn't think it would be this hard. Especially after being apart all summer, I didn't think that you would come back and still be so angry with me."

Haley started to walk towards Nathan as she spoke, despite the fact that the look in his eyes told her not to do this, not to come one step closer.

"You didn't think I'd still be angry? Why wouldn't I be angry Haley, I mean seriously, you walked away from us, even when I told you that if you did we'd be over, you still left. Do you know what that did to me? Do you know what it was like for me to be stuck here, without you, wondering how you could turn your back on us?" Nathan looked towards Haley, who had stopped moving towards him and stood there in front of him not saying a word. "It was hell Haley, every single day without you here was hell. So I chased you, I drove and drove and drove to get to you and tell you how I felt, and what happened? You chose music over me again. Maybe I should have stuck around to talk to you, but you know what? I just couldn't do it. I was so hurt right then all I wanted to do was get as far away from you as possible. You chose music over me not once, but twice. How do I know you won't do that again?"

Nathan looked pleadingly at Haley, he needed an answer. He needed to know that she wasn't going to leave again.

"I've already told you Nathan, there wasn't once where I loved the music and the tour more than you and our life here, not once second. Nothing compares to you Nathan, nothing. I know that now, I won't ever leave you again. You have to believe me Nathan, you have to."

Haley walked over to him and put her hands on his chest as she pleaded for his trust, as she pleaded for his heart. Nathan flinched and pushed her hands away.

Haley's eyes filled with tears. "What? I can't even touch you now? You're that mad at me that you won't even let me touch you?"

"You think I push you away because I'm mad? Is that what you think? You think that night, in this bedroom, in my bed, I stopped you because I was mad? It's just the opposite, I push you away because when you touch me, when I feel you even just the slightest bit I'm reminded of how much I need you, of how much I want you. That night, in my bed, I wanted nothing more than to be with you Haley, but that isn't something I can give into."

"Why not Nathan, why can't you give into me?"

"Because I'm scared Haley."

Haley reached up and placed her hands on his chest once again, "Scared of what Nathan?"

Nathan gazed down at her hands and looked at them curiously, as though he was trying to figure out which one of his emotions to give in to.

"Scared that when I let go and love you again, when I let go and make love to you again, you're just going to leave me."

Nathan looked down into Haley's eyes and for a moment she saw the old Nathan, the look on his face was one of nothing but love. But then, the moment passed and his eyes clouded with anger once again.

Not taking his eyes away from hers for a second he started in on her again, "Do you know that you leaving almost killed me Haley? That accident, well, I don't know how much of an accident it really was. I guess that I just felt like the only way to escape the pain of not having you was to crash into that wall. Do you hear me Haley? I drove myself into a wall because of the pain you caused me. That pain is something that I won't be able to just forget, and I'm sorry if that pain shows itself in anger, but I can't help it Haley. Sometimes I look at you and I don't know what I feel because I feel so much. I never thought it was possible to love and hate someone so much at the same time. I didn't think it was possible to be this mad at someone and still want them so badly."

Haley just stood there, knowing that the worst thing she could do would be to walk away from him, even averting her glance from his would be the same as turning her back on him once again. So she stood there, staring back at him, despite the anger in his eyes, wondering what he was going to do next.

Nathan could feel his heart beating furiously in his chest. He had never felt this way before, so hurt, so angry, so much in love. Now knowing what else to do he cupped his hands underneath Haley's chin and kissed her.

Nathan kissed her hard, he put every ounce of himself into that kiss. She opened his mouth him and he kissed her even harder. He could feel her sway on her feet, his strength was too much for her, so he reached down to the small of her back and pulled her into him.

Haley was shocked, she felt as though she didn't know what to do, so she did all she could and willingly gave herself over to Nathan and he pulled her into him.

Nathan began to plant kisses down Haley's neck, and when he reached her collarbone she let out a slight moan. The sound of her growing passion did nothing but fuel his own passion even more.

Nathan turned Haley and pushed her down onto this bed. He stood there for a moment, just looking at her, taking her all in. He had never seen her this way, her emotions so raw, her want for him so apparent. Not wanting to be apart from her for another second he lowered himself onto her and kissed her again.

When Nathan lowered himself on top of her Haley felt his hardness between them. She moaned again with desire as she pushed her hips into him, letting him know what she wanted, letting him know that she wouldn't be denied.

Nathan let his hands roam freely over Haley's body, lowering them finally to her thighs, where he began to push up her skirt. The feeling of her smooth skin underneath his rough hands made his desire for her increase. When he reached the thin lace of her panties he hooked his thumbs underneath the thin material on each side and pulled them off of her. He ran his hand up the inside of her thigh, hesitating as he felt her wetness underneath his fingers.

Nathan pulled back for a minute, and left Haley lying there, nearly panting with anticipation. He pulled her up so she sat in front of him and she watched as he pulled his shirt over his head, she took in the sight of his well defined chest.

Nathan reached out towards Haley and began raising her shirt over her head. She raised her arms to assist him and felt the cool night air brush over her bare breasts as a breeze blew in through the open window.

Reaching behind her back once again, Nathan guided Haley back down so she was lying beneath him and kissed her frantically. Haley reached down in between them and fumbled with the buckle of his belt. When she finally succeeded in loosening it she unbuttoned his shorts and then guided down his zipper.

Slipping her hand inside of his shorts she was taken aback at the sheer size of him. It had been a while since Haley had felt this part of him, and she was surprised that the reality of him surpassed even her memories. As she massaged him with her hand she could hear small groan arising from somewhere deep inside of him. Haley looked deeply into his eyes.

"Nathan please, don't make me wait any longer." Haley pleaded.

Nathan stood up off the bed and stepped out of his short and boxers. Kneeling on the bed in front of Haley, he lowered her skirt slowly, enjoying watching her squirm at the anticipation his touch brought to her.

Finally he hovered over her, supporting himself with his hands on either side of her as he prepared himself to enter her. Haley held her breath, waiting to feel him inside of her. Seeing the need in her eyes he paused, making her plead once again for him.

"Nathan..."

With that Nathan plunged inside of her, collapsing on top of her momentarily as he was overcome by the feeling of her warmth and wetness as he moved inside of her. Nathan began to move slowly inside of her at first, but then felt all of his feelings rush over him once again, feelings of hurt, of anger, of sheer and undying love for her. These feelings prompted him to move quicker and quicker, until he was rapidly pumping himself in and out of her.

Haley could feel it building inside of her as she moved along with him. Finally, she reached her peak and she screamed out his name as she felt the waves of pleasure rush over her. Nathan joined in her glory as he felt his release, despite his best attempts, her name escaped his lips.

He held himself there, above her, staring down into her eyes. Finally he allowed himself to succumb to her and collapsed on top of her, wrapping his arms tightly around her.

Haley relished in this closeness, she let herself enjoy the safety she felt as his arms were wrapped tightly around her. Then she felt it, she felt him moving, just a little at first and then more. She realized that he was crying. Nathan Scott was crying. Haley gave into him once again and joined him.

The two lie there, in each other's arms, crying for all the nights they had missed with one another, and for all the nights, just like this one, that were to come.


End file.
